Scholarly Chicken (Part Deux)

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Our Scholarly Chicken has recovered from his last gastronomic episode, and now that the weather has turned fowl, he has been feeling rather peckish.  As Thanksgiving approaches, consider sending this recipe to those who see little value in copy-editing.

Scholarly Chicken, part deux

preparation time: 10 min, feeds 1

Ingredients:

1 well-read chicken (some of you will need to purchase new bird)

1 bottle white wine (Pino Grigio, Riesling, or Gvertstraminer if you can pronounce it properly)

1 copy of the New York Times Sunday Edition

1/2 cup corn meal (coarse ground)

1 laptop

1 fresh baguette

1 round soft cheese

1 CD of Mozart’s The Marriage of Figaro, or other light opera.  Chickens get very upset with Wagner.

Directions:

1. Uncork wine, and pour first glass.
2. Cut baguette into rounds and slice cheese into wedges.
3. Open laptop, spreading cornmeal evenly over all keys.  Load first manuscript and sit Scholarly Chicken in front of laptop.
4. Start opera.
5. Retire to sofa to read NY Times Magazine, consume wine, bread, and cheese.
6. After first operatic act, load second manuscript, add more corn meal to keyboard as needed.
7. Repeat steps 5 and 6 until wine has been consumed and opera has finished its finale.
8. Send edited manuscripts back to publisher, and return chicken to cage.  Unread sections of the Times can be used to line cage.