Editor’s note: As we close out September (Suicide Prevention Month), this anonymous post is a personal reflection on navigating mental illness and how we can advance the dialogue around mental health awareness.
September is Suicide Prevention Month, with World Suicide Prevention Day observed on 10 September — both international campaigns to highlight support available for suicide prevention, how we can spot the signs and support others, as well as working to remove the stigma regarding suicide and suicidal ideation. You may have noticed more content on seeking help, talking to someone, and sharing resources.
The growth in discussions about mental health and well-being has been a phenomenal change in the past 10 years; public figures are speaking more openly, and resources have grown, but I believe there is still room to improve our understanding of severe mental illness, chronic conditions, and destigmatization, and how we have responsible conversations on these topics. There have been increased and continued campaigns to encourage speaking up about thoughts of sadness, grief, and situational depression, for example, which is both valid and very much necessary.
However, as we continue to have these conversations, we need to ensure that we are including those living with ongoing conditions such as treatment-resistant depression, chronic suicidal ideation, and complex post-traumatic stress disorder, to name a few. Even discussions around neurodivergence (which often presents with co-occurring mental health conditions) can be unintentionally limiting. Using the term neurodivergence interchangeably with Autism and ADHD is not only inaccurate, but by doing so we potentially create an unwelcoming space for other neurotypes that are still often stigmatized and widely misunderstood by the general public, such as schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, and obsessive-compulsive disorder.
In an age where access to information has become easier, it has arguably created a misuse of language and a colloquialism of medical terminology, more commonly referred to as “therapy speak.” Examples I have seen myself include: someone with poor behavior being called a narcissist, villains in films consistently having personality disorders, someone who is particular, tidy, or “type A” saying they are “a bit OCD,” calling something mildly discomforting a trigger. This is happening all the time — in break room conversations as jokes, in TV and film, on social media. In my opinion, for people who are not living with or supporting someone with this experience, it can be easy to remove the reality of these conditions. Your colleague, your neighbor, even a friend or family member could be navigating this, and without realizing it, you are adding weight to the stigma.
We tell people to speak out and share with others when things are difficult, but we have to ask ourselves whether we have cultivated an environment for them to be vulnerable and to be heard. While we often leave the expectation for people to speak out during times of crisis (when someone is likely under duress), are we pulling them in safely and giving them a soft place to land? From my experience, being in crisis can feel isolating, even if there are a lot of people around you physically. For anyone who does feel that way and may not feel like you can discuss this with your community, there are organizations available who have dedicated staff there to listen and support you. Consider writing a safety plan, if you do not have one, for when those days take hold; and if you do have one, keep it somewhere easily accessible. Taking a walk, workplace quiet rooms, and lighting candles have their benefits, but what does that really mean for those of us on lifelong medication, routine medical appointments, and the possibility of relapse? It can sometimes feel like living a double life at work and at home. A number of us will have access to Employee Assistance Programs (EAPs) or something similar. Consider if it includes:
- Access to emotional support, e.g., access to a 24/7 helpline
- Counseling
- Workplace safety plans
- Occupational health reviews
- Phased returns to work after a mental health-related absence
- Reasonable adjustments for ongoing mental health conditions
If your workplace does have the aforementioned support, is it easily accessible and well signposted? If all the answers are yes, that is great, and remember that these resources are for you to use if and when you need them. If the answer is no, then it might be worth discussing further with your employer.
These resources need to be considered, as would other hidden disabilities/conditions, even the consideration of workload when adjusting or starting new medication and the impact that could have in an office environment, e.g., drowsiness, nausea, disorientation, dry mouth, and sleep disturbances. I remember when I had one of my medications increased, and a side effect was slurred speech. Having to attend meetings with colleagues and external partners left me feeling embarrassed. Afterwards, after discussing it with my manager, we decided to review my meeting attendance while going through medication adjustments, and we would check in briefly at the beginning of each day to see if there were any notable changes. I know this requires being open and some level of disclosure, which might not be wanted or feel safe to do so, but workplaces should have systems in place to be able to request support and adjustments without disclosing diagnoses. As we know by now with the drop-curb effect, making these changes and having these resources available will benefit more people than intended.
Being kind is often mentioned in discussions around mental health and well-being — as a way to support others. We should be kind, but we need to dig a little deeper. How often do we ask someone how they are doing, without actually waiting to hear the response? It’s likely that many of us are not answering authentically. We need to make space with ourselves and others to be able to have those conversations, and if you are concerned about someone’s well-being, ask them again, hold space for them, and be prepared to listen — solutions are not the expectation in these moments. Try not to explain away behavioral changes; if you notice someone is more withdrawn, more eccentric than usual, or anything that might be unlike themselves, it’s better to be safe than sorry by checking in with them. The same goes for the resilient and organized types: don’t assume they will have it all together, and reach out if you’re concerned they are overworking, burning the candle at both ends, or you haven’t heard from them in a while. Check in and hold space. And, as mentioned earlier, think about the language you are using day-to-day — have you picked up terminology that is unintentionally stigmatizing? Sit with yourself and take stock; it doesn’t make you a bad person if that is the case. When you know better, you can do better, and being intentional and substantive is a great start.
For anyone who is managing an ongoing mental health condition whilst working, parenting (plant daddies and cat mamas, I see you, too), socializing, and all the things life brings — it can have its moments, but every day is a new day, and every day can be a different day. I am not writing this on one of my best days, but I will have better days again. Reaching out for help can be a challenge in itself, and there are people ready to listen. Although I appreciate the growth regarding mental health dialogue, the weight of speaking up and sharing experiences is difficult. I hope as we continue to have these conversations, we consider what is not being said and who has not been heard so we can make it easier for more people to speak out and, if needed, ask for help.
Below is a list of resources for anyone who wants to seek support and how to support others. If you feel you are at immediate risk to yourself or others, please call emergency services.
Samaritans US https://samaritanshope.org/
Samaritans UK https://www.samaritans.org/
SHOUT https://giveusashout.org/
National Alliance on Mental Illness https://www.nami.org/
Gamian Europe Need support? | GAMIAN-Europe
